MGTOWs and cucks agree that these hoes ain’t loyal, but go in different directions from there. These two different reactions to this sort of redpill are generalizable. The MGTOW way is to walk away from the risk of undesirable. The cucked way is to embrace what you fear, meet the danger head on. We first need to understand the cucked mindset more, let’s take a...
... walk through Cuckold Psychology
Disclaimer: NSFW reddit content heavily referenced and quoted. Proceed at your own risk. Results are a ‘case study of how cuckoldry is represented’ not statistical analysis. Quotes without changes in spelling. Just take it with a grain of salt, these are self-reported.
What do these men feel that makes them enjoy cuckolding and continue doing so?
Is it homo- / bi-sexuality? This post and comments say it’s not a factor in most cases. One commenter says that there are two goups of motivation, bisexual and humiliation one, most cucks getting off the latter.
In another thread we see specific descriptions of various feelings in relation to the situation:
Total utter humiliation and helplessness To relive the experience while I fuck her and have an explosive orgasm, for sure. Mutual satisfaction in the bedroom. It heightened my arousal and increases the intensity of my orgasm when I finally come. The fact that I cannot satisfy her like the other guy does. But in spite of it all, her heart and love is for me. That feeling of being loved although I can never be as good as the other guys is what gives me that emotional high.
Here we can see more intellectualized version, focused on the wife. Here the value is in seeing her empowered.
This gets even more interesting. This guy has a REALLY slavish mindset, I’ll even quote:
it’s a primal need for her to have that type of guy. Making me feel emasculated and as if it’s fate that my wife needs his powerful type in her life. We need him to get off on how he makes us face it, deal with it, pushes us and does this thing socially that is wrong. It’s not just sex. It’s soooo much more.
Side note: this hints at possible evolutionary background for such feelings.
Now we have a picture of such a creature, ‘cuckold’. How is it created?
How does one become a cuckold?
Through being cheated on. At least in some cases - but on the other hand no other reason was named as frequently... They assume the cuck ideneity either to repeat that experience, or by getting into the kink online. What happens can be modelled as: desire, talk, sex (outside of the couple). These happen in two orders:
- desire - talk - sex - fantasy beings solo and the partner is talked into trying it out - it is the potential cuck who initiates the discussion most of the time
- sex - desire - talk - fantasy is induced! - a cheating / threesome act is normalized - this appears rare in cuckold relationships as it often ends a relationship. Cuck's fetish persists into any future ones though.
- sometimes beta cuck with a promiscuous woman doesn't believe in restricting her, and prefers open cucking to cheating behind his back
This process of ‘getting turned’ into a cuckold not on its own volition is fascinating. See this post. From a similar place comes this story (potentially made up!), and ponder this exchange between some commenters:
What did she do exactly to turn you into a cuckold? cheat a lot and tell me about how she was cheating The same happened to me, you will fall down the rabbit hole and love it!
Here we see the second model (sex-desire-talk) in one relationship. Then he's trying to repeat it in next relationships with the first (desire-talk-sex) model.
The second model happens once, the first one potentially more.
So most (guess +80%) of cucks are in the first model. The second is a springboard, initiatory phase for many. Some get the fetish just from ‘individual search’ though.
Why do I think that the desire - talk - model is correct for most cases? Because of this website, devoted spceifically to help men convince their wives to try the ‘lifestyle’.
They describe an ‘inception method’ for making wives into ‘hotwives’. It says:
So, I started reaching out to every guy I came across who had been successful in getting his wife to sleep with other men. And do you know what I discovered? I discovered that all these regular guys who were actually successful in getting their fantasies to happen faced a tremendous amount of resistance from their wives in the beginning. For some guys, their wives' resistance lasted weeks. For others, it lasted years. No matter how long it lasted though, almost every wife of every cuckold and hotwife husband out there initially wasn't open to the fantasy.
A peculiar Promised Land, not gonna lie...
Nervousness
They generally do have nervous feelings before and after the first ‘performance’. Here one cuck described these, but was reassured by another one:
We played with a friend a few times before she went to see him alone. If your experience is anything like mine, when she comes home, she's going to be the hottest thing you've ever seen, she's going to be even more of a goddess than when she left. This experience will remind you how sexy she is and you'll want her even more. You may do things you haven't done before - you may feel the desire to clean her and reclaim her - it's a powerful, hot, sexy feeling.
Humans get used to anything that happens to them and readjust their reward systems to e.g. death camps or celeb life. Tbh more difficult to adjust to the latter, abundance is a curse, scarcity is natural. Yet still cucks don't live in comfort. Here another not-yet-cuck has anxiety about the thought alone:
I met her as a confident, sexually experienced woman in college, and after about eight months of dating she started cucking me. (To my eventual delight). I think the consistant attention, and continued affirmation of her desirability to other men became an integral need for her. She was very much in love with me, and she shared the sex and her excitement with me, fulfilling my own integral need to be cuckolded by her.
Another user advises staying horny to overshadow the emotional difficulty:
You seem to be going through what most of us have before actually living this for the first time. A lot of doubt a nada fear that somehow get overtaken by arousal and curiosity.
Here you have a couple of problems they encounter. Developing feelings might be ‘problematic’, most often on the side of the bull. That can range from getting jealous or going beyond the sexual. But we wouldn’t get a reddit thread question if the wife didn’t hesitate to elope...
Cuckoldry is an addictive emotional roller coaster for everyone involved. People in it are hooked.
MGTOWs’ approach
Is really as simple as:
1) women can cheat
2) even in the best relationship you have no guarantee of a woman not cheating
3) cost of being cheated on is high, making relationship not worth it.
The latter especially when summed with other MGTOW arguments that paired life is bad. 1 is trivial, 2 is arguably true, it’s naive to think otherwise. It is 3 that is the most contentious. There obviously the payout matrix is different for different males respective of attractiveness, status and other mate retention characteristics.
But ulitmately, on personal level MGTOW works. People have been monks for millenia. Monastery life might be easier practically than solitary MGTOW, though.
Generalization of the pattern
Now we get into the general case of game theoretic situations when you see the game was rigged from the start. Do you stop playing? Or do you try to achieve rational profit?
There’s a similarity between ‘bug chasing’ and cuckoldry. Your satisfaction is a sum of basic satisfaction and fear. The fear has negative value and getting rid of it in some way is a natural thing to do in the situation. That works if the cost to mitigate fear is less than the fear itself. Meeting the risk head on, accepting it as fate, spinning it as positive is really martyr-like. See any propaganda video. It is similar to 'everything happens for a reason, and is good for you'. Wanting to control everything, directly or indirectly. A cope.
OTOH you can refuse to play the game at all - or embrace the risk and spin it as positive. These are two strategies applicable elsewhere. 90% of startups fail. Accepting risk is part of startup culture, but no one intentionally fails a business idea they believe in. MGTOWs wouldn’t bother with the endeavour at all, and cucks would fear failure too much.
MGTOW philosophy it’s not a Kant-approved choice - it’s not generalizable. They don’t say - ‘it’s just our accidental thing of being unable to marry’.
They say ‘AWALT’!
Like LGBT, MGTOWs need to rely on memetic interception, not demographic transmission. Both will never convince everyone. Try placing them in the light of the ancient debate of Stoicism vs Epicureanism. Epicureans didn’t like to take public offices, as that does not lead to tranquil life.
The difference between cucks and MGTOWs is like between hedonism (evolved carnal epicureanism) and classical Epicureanism. Both reject risks, duties such as holding office, just to protect to one’s hedone.
These are two extremes: rejecting the game, or wanting to experience everything it has to offer, up to spinning negatives as positives. What could be the middle way? Obviously Stoicism suggests itself, as accepting the necessity of the game. For dating the middle would include PUA and ‘regular’ dating. Show must go on. Be it the dating game, game of power, economic game, etc. And one has a place in that game for some reason. Stoics were Logos people, and not of the Christian eschatonic type, their universe was eternal. Stoicism has an emphasis on knowing what is in one’s control and what is not. Accepting your limits.
So, you, go on some date(s), play that game!
Accept the risk and that you can’t control everything!
Have fun!
in a way, I'm kinda both, after being cuckolded, happily, I've chosen 7 yrs chastity, thus went my own way, as it wasn't her choice.. though we still live together.